Tunde's wife, Kemi, is a very violent woman and he fears for his life especially as she has often threatened to kill him. What should he do?
"Dear Pulse,
My name is Tunde, a 38-year-old married man with two children. I read the story of the young man who was stabbed to death by his wife a few days ago in Abuja and I think I have to also come out before my wife carries out the threat of killing me.
I know in these parts of the world, domestic violence is often seen and given a mention when it involves a man against his wife. At such times, the man is seen as the demon especially by feminists who make so much noise about it.
When a woman is the aggressor, they will either say the man is weak or that he must have done something wrong to deserve such treatment from his wife.
ALSO READ: "Morning Teaser: Who do you blame for domestic violence in a marriage?"
But from my experience, I can tell you that men are also victims but the society we live in does not place a premium on a wife battering her husband.
I got married to Kemi five years ago and the truth must be told, that was the biggest mistake I ever made in my life as she has not only been a nightmare for me but has vowed to kill me one of these days.
I constantly live in fear as I do not know the devil that will possess her one day and she would carry out her threat.
I had only dated Kemi for four months when she got pregnant and since I did not want to have a child out of wedlock, we had to get married. I did not know that Kemi had such a bad temper because while we were dating, we only met during the weekends.
But six months after our marriage, she showed the stuff she was made off. I had come back from work late that day due to traffic and she flew into a temper, accusing me of leaving her all alone at home and gallivanting with women.
I tried to explain that it was because of the traffic but she would have none of that as she gave me a hot slap, tore my shirt and said she would kill any woman she ever catches with me.
I was so surprised at her behaviour and reported the matter to her mother who pacified me and said it was because of her pregnant state. Later, she begged me and said she was just mad that I did not come back on time, promising never to do such a thing again.
But instead of changing, Kemi became worse. Anytime she is angry, she would break things in the house and at one time, broke a bottle and threatened to stab me with it. I had to practically run out of the house and spent the night with a friend.
I remember the day I dropped off a lady who lived on our street. I was on my way back from work when I saw the lady at a bus stop. I thought I was doing a good deed but that day, Kemi broke my car's windscreen and brought out a knife attempting to stab me.
ALSO READ: "Morning Teaser: What would you do if your wife beats you?"
Many of my friends say it is because I gave her the room in the first place while others say I should divorce her but I am still hanging on because of the kids as I don't want them to live under the shadow of a divorce.
I am very afraid for my life. It is not as if I am weak and cannot put her in her place but I am that kind of man who would never raise his finger on a woman.
What should I do?
Tunde."
Dear readers, when we hear of domestic violence, we always equate it to men battering their wives but with Tunde's story, there is another narrative. On Morning Teaser today, what do you think he should do?
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