When the ambition of a politician is more important than the lives of the people, the death of political violence victims is not worth a teardrop.
"Hello, Hello, my friend, it is me your brother."
"Haa, Ayo my brother ! Happy new year. "
"Same to you my friend. I heard you began the new year with a visit to the Sultan. What are you up to my brother"?
" Yes Ayo, I went to seek royal blessing from the leader. I need the prayer of people like him to overcome all my enemies in this country."
"That is true oo, we need to be prayed for. In fact I got my blessings from the foremost man of God before the new year. See, when I heard about your visit to Sokoto, I thought you went to seek the hand of the daughter of a northern elite in marriage since their girls are getting married to millionaires now.”
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"No be so my friend, na blessing I dey find"
"Ehen, ! There is fire on the mountain and I need your help on this.
"Okay, tell me what the problem is."
"Aha, you know we are already in 2017 and very, very soon there will be a gubernatorial election in my state and I want my candidate to win it. I have my plans but I want you to advise me on how to emasculate and disgrace these people like you did "
"That is not a problem my friend."
"Heennnn ? "
"Yes now, to continue to be the man in charge of your state affairs, you have to act like a man"
"Act like a man ke, I have always been a man. Check my profiles my brother. Have you forgotten how I dealt with them three years ago?
(Laughs) " You are not strong enough for them. You have to be a man that is stronger than all the soldiers put together and fight like a man with the strength of a hundred lions. Did you not see what I did to them ?"
“It was everywhere, I saw it my brother. In fact you are more than a man. You're Okunrin meta (three men in one body) So, tell me my brother, how do I go about it ?"
"What does a lion do in the jungle ? "
"It kills and rules"
"That is exactly what you must do. Kill anyone that wants to disturb you, kill as many as you can "
"Bloood of Jeeesus !That is too much for one man to do ooo"
" That is the best you can do my brother to get what belongs to you. If they do not want to give you their thumb, show them the tombs. The rest will know that the fear of Ayo is the beginning of wisdom. Fight anybody and fight it to the end"
"That is a little wicked"
(Ha,ha, ha) "That is not very wicked my friend"
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" You know this place is named after mountains, there are no rivers to throw in the collateral damage. We don't have rivers of blood, only mountains, mountains of .....
(cuts in ) " See, if you do not do what I suggest, how will you bark like a dog and fight to finish like a lion. If you don't fight, how will you win the fight for your successor? "
"I was thinking of using the Ekitigate formula but that may not work again because those we think are friends have traded our trade secrets in a corruption deal with the EFCC. Apart from this, I also plan to dole out branded garri and groundnuts for the peasants instead of branded bread that was shared in Ondo elections.
I will also organise a get-together party for the market women and stomach infrastructure fans at the popular buka along the governor's office road. You know the man of God also anointed me just before the end of last year, with this new spiritual status, I can go on one of the mountains of breakthrough in my state to fast and pray .
My wife is an evangelist, she can pray for more than one hour. And by the time we finish doing all this, we will be sure that even with their fake one man one vote campaign, majority of the people will vote for my candidate. I will also... hello ...hello ...are you there... "
"Do you think these would scare them to support you at the poll? I don't think so my brother. You need to scare everybody to support you. You said you will do this, you will do that, what will you do to the electoral officials to get them on your side?"
"A-a-a-a-a-a-h ! you have a point oo"
"You see it now. My brother, you can't engage them in a battle of wits when you are half armed. You have to use political madness tactics. Get their contacts, give them money, then call and threaten them, let them know you are desperate, if they resist, throw them into your river"
"Jeeesuuu! Haaa! I have not tried this tactics before"
“Ayo my brother, that is the strategy if you want to get what you want."
Haa ! you are a man, a very strong man. No wonder you emasculated the soldiers, you broke their back bones and rendered them useless. In fact, you are the man of the year.
"My brother, no be me, na God oo!"
“Thank you my friend. I will think about it. Thank you very much for your modest advice. I need to go and see the prophet that said I will be impeached this year to tell me where he got his prophecy from.”
PS: Due to the political violence and assassinations that always characterize elections in Nigeria, it is clear that the lives of Nigerians are not as important as the ambition of the “intellectuals” that are saddled with the responsibilities of protecting the lives and properties of the citizens.
The last kill-to-win approach to election was recently seen in Rivers election rerun. Lives were lost, people disappeared, lifeless bodies littered the rivers and hey ! this is Nigeria, life goes on.
While the Police are still trying to investigate the horrible murder of the Police DSP Alkali Mohammad and his orderly, who were beheaded during Rivers rerun election, The citizens and the government in our usual docility will only hope such electoral violence is not repeated elsewhere. Congratulations to winners, Rest in peace to the dead.
Let's have one minute silence for the casualties please.
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