During these crazy times, we need to restate the metrics of being a good dad and not a deadbeat father.
Parenting is about readiness. If you are not ready for parenthood, why are you being sexually irresponsible?
On his 2017 song, Family Feud about how his sexual irresponsibility took a toll on his family, rap legend, Jay Z raps, “Let me alone Becky, a man that don’t care of his family can’t be rich.”
Truer words have literally — indulge my absolutism — not been said. A few people grow into parenthood, but many a people pee the entire kitchen at parenthood when it ‘happens by mistake.’
If you cannot be responsible, stop bringing children into the world to suffer for your stupidity. ‘Daddy issues’ and ‘abandonment issues’ are real and trail people into adulthood.
Just last year, one of the biggest artists in the world, Drake was embroiled in a much hyped social media paternity battle with Sophie Brussaux, the mother to his first child, Adonis.
Following the ongoing drama between Nigerian singer, Ayodeji Wizkid Balogun and two of his baby mamas, who have been bitterly against his fatherly irresponsibility.
On September 20, 2018, Pulse reported the lengthy allegations of fatherly irresponsibility, abandonment and despicable character against Wizkid by his baby mama, Oluwanishola Ogudugu.
Amongst other things, Ogudugu’s charges exemplify why being a deadbeat dad should attract negative reactions from anybody.
If you are not ready for fatherhood, use protection.
Hey, we know mistakes happen and life doesn't go according to plan. If you find yourself in the situation of being a baby daddy, here are 5 ways not to be dead beat father.
ALSO READ: Does Nigeria truly make up 30% of failed DNA tests in the world
1.) Pay your child's bills
Money makes the world go round and you need to grease the wheel of existence to give your child the best life because your child deserves the best.
Payments like child support should never be lacking. If you brought the child into the world, you should have the money to take care of that child.
Asides that, paying your child's bills involves paying your baby mama's bills. Making your child happy should involve making his mother happy.
2. Spend time with your kids
A lot of people aren't prepared for a child, but when it comes, it comes. Love is natural when parenthood is concerned, after you see your child.
Parenthood is however as much a full-time job. You have no choice. You have to be there.
You might not feel it now, but further, down the years when you’re older and more responsible, you will regret not being in your child’s life during the formative years.
Parents say those years are the most tasking, yet the most fun part of parenthood, when children are still attached to them as if everything depends upon them.
ALSO READ: The doctrine of parenting
3.) Show up to your child's events
Fatherhood is also not just about money. It’s a 360 job that demands your presence, your participation, your time, sacrifice, key decisions and presence at milestones.
A lot of children want their parents at their birthdays, their football games, their end of year parties, recitals, stage plays, performance and all of that.
These situations forge an unbreakable bond between the children and parents. Children see their fathers as gods who can make anything happen.
That perception fades little by little with every shred of unwarranted absence. The child might feel bad growing up, the problem is when he doesn't care anymore.
You don’t want to scar your child. Don’t just do it for the child, do it for yourself. Part of that also means communication with his mother and agreement, sacrifice and compromise.
The child needs you both to thrive. Thus…
4.) Treat your baby mama right
Fam, you want to like the child and not like his mother? First, you have to realize children are more attached to their mothers than their fathers.
Asides that, she is the mother of your child and what she deserves in anything - even in conversations while she isn’t present - is respect. She isn’t some groupie or whatever, blood ties are there now.
It is not only responsible, but it is also simply courtesy; civility to live life with. Mostly, if you trash her, what does that make you? You slept with her. Whatever she is, reflects on you.
Trashing your baby mama in any way degrades you too. Asides that, it is simple enough to want to respect her because she is now a mother. Naturally, those deserve good treatment.
That also means her consent is sought on anything. She won’t always be right, but why not communicate instead of simply calling her names and whatever.
Making her happy equals making your child happy. As such, you need to make sure she’s happy and good as much as you can.
5.) Keep the drama off the public eye
That starts with family intercession in your affairs, not just social media. You are tied to your baby mama for life — God, protect that child.
Public scrutiny will further create rifts as you would read into third-party comments and they will influence your decisions.
You need to be sensible and sensitive.
It’s time to be woke and responsible.
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